Itisi

I should have posted this yesterday, but better late than never as British Rail passengers used to say. Jodi over at Looking Beyond the Cracked Window is this weeks reviewer and her chosen subject is the god-awful Wolf Creek.

If you’d like to join the Gasbags, sign up here!

OK, you asked for it, here are the details of my Torquay error. Be warned, it’s not that interesting, but it is hugely embarrassing – I am blushing as I type.

Until the age of fourteen, I mistakenly believed the scenic Devon seaside town of Torquay was actually somewhere near the Spanish resort of Majorca. I didn’t go around telling people this because the subject of the whereabouts of Torquay never arose as a topic of conversation. However, if someone happened to mention that they were going to visit the place, I envisioned them boarding a plane and flying to foreign climes.

I’m not sure why I thought this was so, after all, Torquay doesn’t sound Spanish, and it’s compound syllables are very commonly used English words – Tor and Quay. Maybe, it was due to hearing it described as the ‘riviera’ at an early age. Whatever the reason, I had actually been to Devon on numerous occasions, but for some reason had failed to notice the signs pointing to Torquay – this may be due to the fact that I suffer from travel sickness and tend to spend more time trying not to vomit when travelling than looking at the road signs.

I finally discovered my mistake whilst walking past the booking office of a coach firm with a friend. I spotted a large sign in the window offering cheap day trips to Torquay and remarked that surely it wasn’t possible to get there and back in a day. My friend looked puzzled and said of course it was. I decided she was very silly and informed her that a coach could not drive to Spain and back in the space of 24 hours. She asked what Spain had got to do with anything . . . and well, I’m sure you can guess the rest.

I was tagged for this by Beki, the idea is that bloggers list five things about them which aren’t generally known in the hope that ‘writerly’ people can pick up ideas, or find help with research or character development. So, here are five things about me, that you may not know . . .

1) I am double jointed.

2) As a student I spent a summer holiday providing maternity leave cover in a computer dating agency – yes, I will blog about that some day.

3) When I was at school both Ford and British Leyland offered me a job in their design departments. I decided to go to art college instead, but you already know that bit.

4) About ten years ago I chased a man after I saw him kicking his dog outside a chip ship in Scarborough. It was silly thing to do, but turned out ok because several other people joined in, the chip shop owner called the police and the man was arrested.

5) When I was about nine, I became undefeated ‘hanging off the goal posts’ champion in the village I lived in. This wasn’t a big deal to me, it came about because I happened to be the only girl of my age in the place. One day, after hearing yet another boy say ‘you can’t do that because you’re a girl’, I thought I would show them the error of their ways and none of them ever beat my time either!

I thought of telling you about my Torquay error, but that’s too embarassing (blush)

I’m tagging Steg ~ Nixxie ~ Kim ~ Cotswoldgent ~ Attila the Mom & Cherrypie but if anyone wants to have a go please do, and don’t forget to leave the link in the comments below so we can all come and have a peep.

PLEASE LEAVE THE FOLLOWING IN ALL ‘PEOPLE COLLECTION’ POSTS

Remember that it isn’t always the sensational stuff that writers are looking for, it can just as easily be something that you take for granted like having raised twins or knowing how to grow beetroot. Mind you, if you know how to fly a helicopter or have worked as a film extra, do feel free to let the rest of us know about it

Beki had a go at the book meme I also tackled a little while ago. I did want to comment on her answers but couldn’t because I was fingerly challenged at the time. Anyhow, I noticed she included the Enid Blyton book, the Magic Faraway Tree in her list. I was also a fan of Enid Blyton, and loved that particular title. I know poor old Enid has come in for some stick in recent years (she didn’t cover ‘issues’ and certainly wasn’t politically correct) but at her best she produced the most wonderful escapist fiction for children, the sort of thing that drew you in to a world full of magic and awe, and which always had a happy ending, usually involving cake.

Some years ago I was discussing Enid Blyton with Mr Blogs*, and along with the MFT I mentioned another of her books, The Adventures of Mr Pink-Whistle**. At this point Mr Blogs raised an eyebrow (I’m sure he thinks that gives him a Sean Connery-esque air) and asked if I was certain that was the title. Yes, I insisted it was the Adventures of Mr Pink-Whistle, he owned a cat and got involved all sorts of daft adventures, usually due to his own silliness. Then I realised what he meant – in those more innocent times it probably seemed very jolly, but nowadays, well, it sounds like something you would see on one of the nekkid lady websites.

Now, I’ll leave you with an Enid Blyton inspired joke:

Q) Why have elephants got big ears?

A) Because Noddy wouldn’t pay the ransom!

Is that a groan I hear (tee hee)

* In case anyone is interested, Mr Blogs wasn’t a fan of The Magic Faraway Tree, preferring instead The Famous Five and Secret Seven. He also liked Just William (Richmal Crompton) but not the tv series with Bonny Langford.

** I have included a link in case anyone else thinks it is a figment of a slightly grubby imagination.

Well, I did say we were going to decorate (tee hee) and with this in mind I have started removing the existing wallpaper. So far, the hall, stairs and landing are done. Next, the kitchen. I’m looking forward to that because I have come to hate the paper in here. I wasn’t keen at first, but it was the only thing that went with the rest of the kitchen. Over time I have developed a loathing for it. This may sound silly, but it reminds me of one of Anne Diamond’s dresses – you know those voluminous smocks she took to wearing a few years ago. I have nothing against Anne, but I don’t want to be reminded of her everytime I go into my kitchen.

When we first moved here, decorating took ages because the previous residents had a habit of papering over the existing decor. Stripping it off was like a trip back in time. One bedroom had a hideous purple and lime green floral pattern for it’s final layer, but the spare room had it worse. At some point in, what I’m guessing was, the 1960s someone had decided a beige and brown paper with a pattern that resembled coffee cup rings was just the thing. I know styles in decor change, but I can’t imagine how that particular design ever made it off the shelves.

The ceilings were even worse. Every room in the house was papered* with some strange textured stuff featuring a rather naff palm frond pattern. This has always puzzled me because it really didn’t go with the house at all. To be honest I can’t imagine what kind of house it would go with, but certainly not one that is a century old and which has very low ceilings.

Anyhow, because there will come a day when Mr Blogs and I find ourselves rattling around here and decide to move to pastures new, we always remove the old decor before putting up the new. That way, in years to come, when the Blogs cottage is home to another family (sniff) we won’t have to worry about some impudent blogger taking the wee wee out of our previous interior design gaffs.

* Yes papered! Who papers a ceiling?!? Well, actually, my Dad, but he does it for a living and enjoys his work. But, amongst the rest of the world, what kind of lunatic goes to all the neck straining effort when a couple of coats of paint would do just as well.